You, too, can be as egomaniacal, self-absorbed, and downright Trump-tastic as the president of the United States. Yes, he´s an original. But that doesn´t mean you can´t out-Trump the Donald. You don´t need a filthy rich daddy, a fully funded Ivy League diploma, or even your own reality TV show. All it takes is some Trumpitude. If the Donald´s pulled it off then, really-how hard can it be? Here´s the handbook you´ve been waiting for: How to choose the perfect supermodel wife. (Not too much English, please.) How to turn the U.S. presidency into a four-year product-placement campaign. (Why wouldn´t you?) How to tweet like no one´s looking. (Even if the whole world is). When to quit slapping your name on things. (We´ll have to get back to you on this one!) By the time we´re through, you´ll be palling around with the world´s worst dictators. Your future will be huge-er than you ever imagined. Your hair will defy gravity and all good taste.