This hilarious instruction book is here to help you accept that being a dog parent is not a choice, but a lifestyle Your dog rules your home and your heart. You bend over backwards to cater to their quirks. In fact, you would do anything for your pampered pup. So why is it that they treat your toilet like a cocktail bar, ruin your lawn with their antics, or scoot their butt across the floor when you have guests? Luckily, this no-nonsense survival guide is on hand to help you navigate canine parenthood. Whether you need to learn to never leave food unattended, that they will always choose puddle water over fresh, or simply to understand that there is never an acceptable excuse for showing affection to any other living creature, these pearls of wisdom are sure to make you an elite dog parent in no time. Filled with original illustrations and tongue-in-cheek advice, this sneak peek into the world behind those puppy-dog eyes will make the perfect gift for any dog lover.