The long-awaited follow-up to Football Clichés, Adam Hurrey's cult classic about the language of football.
Does language evolve? Yes, it does.
Will it ever be acceptable for a football commentator to call a shot that bounces before it goes in 'a screamer'? No, it will not.
As the self-appointed world expert on the subject, Adam Hurrey sets off to define the definitive rules of the language of football.
He will answer the big questions such as: is it acceptable to say a player is 'breaking their silence' (it's complicated), can headers can be 'lashed' (anatomically impossible), whether a penalty shootout could ever be described as 'late drama' (truly abhorrent), how many games constitute a 'bumper' day of Premier League action (minimum of eight) and just how big a deficit constitutes 'a mountain to climb' (certainly not Liverpool going 1-0 down at home to Wolves in the third minute, Sky Sports).
Along the way, Hurrey examines some case studies of how the football media has reached saturation point - the transfer rumour mill, the futile art of big-match previewing, the rise of (and backlash against) football jargon - and how its language has evolved to keep the machine going.
Have we let the football lexicon spiral out of control? In finding out, this book will be exactly as gloriously pedantic as it sounds.